Feb 19, 2016

How To Get The Guy of Your Dreams in Japan

How To Get The Guy of Your Dreams in Japan photo
That’s it.
This is the bottom line in this article I want to say to any girl who wants to have a Japanese boyfriend. You don’t need to read the rest if you’re too lazy or busy.

Valentine's Day has just passed. A lot of love were in the air in Tokyo. 
In Japan, Girls take action first. Only women give presents (mainly chocolates) to men they’re into. Most Japanese girls are quite shy to express their love. So, they use Valentine's Day to express their feelings. It is great opportunity.

However, a lot of single girls do nothing even on Valentine's Day which is the best day to take action for them. They just wait hoping some guys approach to them one day.

Just a few days ago, a friend of mine, Sara asked me for advice.
She got into a Japanese guy in college. And she’s wondering how he got attention to her and eventually likes her.

I asked Sara what kind of action she has made so far to get his attention (like smiling a lot, asking him go on a date.etc).

She said, “Nothing."

“What? Anything? How would you let him notice your feeling with any action?” I asked.

“Nobita, I’m a girl. Guys are supposed to approach and ask me go on a date. Girls shouldn’t. I think that's kinda embarrassing. I’m gonna just wait until he asks me.” She replied.

This is the reason behind why I made the video below.

■Girls Should Just Wait?

This is not only Sara. A lot of girls in the world assume guys are the ones who always ask girls go out and take action actively when it comes to dating
I guess that’s because all societies, TV, and media tell you to do so, right? In most romantic movies, the guy confess his love to the girl usually. In YouTube, many guys try to pickup girls, but we see much less the opposite case.

These all things make girls think subconsciously, “Girls shouldn’t ask guys go out. We should just wait until guys approach to us. That’s how it works in life."


As long as you stick to the misconception, the guy of your dream never comes to you FOREVER. 

You must know this as well as me. If you sit and watch TV all day, the chances your perfect guy is coming in your life are highly highly unlikely. In real life, love romance like movie does not happen in the end. Deep inside, you know this, but you don’t wanna to be the one who actively approaches so that you decide just to wait.

A lot of people keep doing lottery hoping they get lucky some day. But at the end of the day, you’re gonna realize lottery actually keep fucking you over. Basically you’re dong the same thing as long as you're just waiting. 

If you want to get luck in your life, you definitely have to take action FIRST. You have to make it happen by yourself. Otherwise, nothing lucky happens whether it’s job or anything. Dating is not exception.

■The Only Way To Date With The Guy You’re Truly Into

The divorce rate in Japan is about 30% nowadays. In US, 50%. The rate is getting higher in both countries.

In my theory, one of the reasons is, a lot of women just wait and accept the guy they don’t really love. They don’t wanna be the one who actively take action in dating. They’re being too stereotypical, which “Girls shouldn’t be aggressive in dating”, so you  decide to get married with the guy who approached to you.

But, if you get married with someone you’re not truly love, it’s very unlikely you’re satisfied with your marriage and end up divorce eventually. 

Let’s say you’re super gorgeous girl like supermodel. 
In that case, it’s no doubt you attract many guys and getting a lot of offer of dating or confessions of love. It’s quite easy to reach married.

The big problem is, no matter how many guys approach to you, you have no idea which guy is really the right for you. More importantly, the chances the guy you really love is included in the guys is very very unlikely. 

In reality, the guy you TURLY want to date never approach to you. He doesn’t even know about you unless you talk to him.

How can I date with him? 

That’s super simple. You approach to the guy FIRST, not waiting until he does. 

Taking action first is the only way you can get the guy of your dream. The principle applies to everyone whether you’re guy or girl. Remember, you cannot get any lover unless you become the one who actively approach first.

■Approaching to the guy you’re into is NOT inappropriate, NOT embarrassing at all.  
How To Get The Guy of Your Dreams in Japan photo
We often see the scene guys pickup girls. But why girls shouldn’t? I don’t understand.

It’s biologically so natural that anyone has the desire to talk to the person you got interested in. It does make sense to me women also pickup men. That’s not inappropriate or embarrassing thing at all. Just ignore what society tells you!

Having said that, maybe you still think what I’m saying is all easier said than done, right?  "I can understand what you're saying, Nobita. But, approaching to the guy first is impossible for me. It’s just too scaring!!". 

On top of that,  maybe you think it makes you less attractive, right?

The truth is, girls, that is definitely NOT at all. That's completely opposite actually.

As a guy, I would very appreciate if a girl talks to me at a cafe or library. Honestly, I wouldn’t feel any uncomfortable or disgusted by that (unless she tries to sell or steal something from me). That would make me think you’re more impressive and attractive than other shy girls.              

Trust me.
This is not only me. I’m sure most Japanese guys appreciate the women who actively take action first. Because, as you can probably guess, we tend to be too shy in terms of dating. It’s  hard for us to approach to the girl we're into.

More importantly, nowadays, more and more Japanese guys are passive.

So, my point is, especially if you want a Japanese boyfriend, you have no choice but taking action first is definitely the only way.

■Just 1 Guy 
How To Get The Guy of Your Dreams in Japan photo
Remember, girl.
All you need is just 1 person. Nothing more is needed. Only 1 guy. That’s it.

I can’t emphasize enough this. Because, keeping this in your mind, even if you get rejected million times just like me, I promise everything would be totally OK for you after you get just 1 guy in the end. 

Don’t you think million times rejections are worth to find your TURE love? 

If you don’t, just go ahead to be single girl forever. Just watching Netflix and romantic movies all night alone forever. I'm very sorry for you to spend your time alone forever..

But if you want to have the life to be in love, be in a relationship with the guy you’re TRULY into, you have to stop being like a princess.

A lot of people think my YouTube channel is just funny entertainment. They watch just as the video which a crazy Japanese guy do street interview to random strangers in Japan.

Honestly, I'm not happy with that. Because my real intention is, to encourage viewers to actually take action, not just watching. I want people to take my advice seriously and implement actually to find their love in Japan. I strongly hope so.

Believe or not, I used to be very shy, introvert, very unconfident guy and couldn’t talk to anyone but my family.

So, watching my videos, hopefully people believe it’s possible even a person who was extremely antisocial into the guy who is really really active. I strongly believe if I can do it, anyone can do it.

Girl! If you want to find your love in Japan, BEING PROACTIVE is the key to find your love. Stop making excuses and just go! 


Hi! My name is Nobita, a native Japanese guy.I'm a Web Designer in Japan. I have a YouTube channel, "Find Your Love in Japan" to show "real" Japanese people for you.