May 28, 2016

Misconception of Japanese Husbands

Misconception of Japanese Husbands photo
A week ago, I got one email from a female viewer of my YouTube channel, Find Your Love in Japan.

Hey, Nobita! Thank you so much for making great video. I’m really enjoying, it’s really hilarious, but informative! You’re the funniest Japanese guy I’ve ever seen in my life.
Actually, I’m getting interested in dating a Japanese guy as watching your videos. But, I’ve just found the below article recently and got anxious about dating a Japanese man.
Do you think what the article says is really true? If so, unfortunately I wouldn’t date a Japanese guy. Just because my personality doesn’t match to them.
It would be great if you could make a video about the topic in the future.

I checked the link immediately and found it ridiculous. Basically what it says is that you shouldn’t marry a Japanese man, because you have to be a housekeeper and do all houseworks. Although it might be true a long time ago in Japan, it’s not anymore nowadays.

I made the below video to correct the misconception to all women in the world.

1. Do You Have To Quit Your Job After You Got Married?

Absolutely not.

Why do you need to quit? I wish you could afford to do that, but nowadays in Japan, you have to work whether you like it or not, whether you’re married or not.

These days, Japan is in a long-lasting recession. Average income of men is decreasing each year, so women need to continue to work in a company after marriage.

If you want to quit your job and be a housework, it’s not good situation. But if not, you should be totally OK to get married to a Japanese guy.

In Japan, more women go to university or college nowadays and want to pursue their careers, and I think their personalities are getting dominant and persistent at the same time. Japanese men can’t demand them to stop working anymore.

2. Do You Have to do All Houseworks?

If you want to be a housewife, of course yes. Because that’s your job. But no man expect you to do all houseworks if you’re a full worker as well as your husband. Housework is not the woman’s job anymore.

Gender role in Japan still remains a little bit even nowadays, so maybe you have to do a little bit more depending on your work hour. In fact, some Japanese women manage to do part-time job, raising children and do houseworks at the same time.

But that’s getting less these days. Have you ever heard “Ikumen(イクメン)"?

“Ikemen“(イケメン) means – it’s an abbreviation of “イケている”(good-looking) and “メン”(man).

And, “Ikumen”(イクメン) is the abbreviation of “child-raising”(育児) + “man"(メン).

It’s not exactly like a stay-at-home-dad. But he is very willing to actively take on the role of parenting by offering to take leave from work or even truly enjoy being the primary carer for his child.

The word was born around 2010, when the government launched a campaign called "The Ikumen Project"(イクメン・プロジェクト) and media picked up. Some laws were actually changed regarding parental leave from work, and the government (along with the media) began to strongly push for more fathers to actively participate in raising children. It’s social stigma and moreJapanese men feel they need to take leave off work to care for his child as well as his wife.

I have to say it’s still has a long way to go to catch up to the countries like European.

Currently, Japan has one of the lowest percentages of men taking leave off work among developed countries, with just 1% of men doing so. I think it’s because Japanese men traditionally take responsibility for being the breadwinner of the family.

But still, more women are willing to work nowadays in Japan, so I think it more men rethink the previously divided gender roles from now on.

3. Japanese Men Are Too Serious And Not Funny At All?

That’s completely wrong.

For example, take a look at me.

I’m not a super funny person like comedian unfortunately, but at least I’m way too far from serious. I hope you can see that by watching my videos.

Working all day with too serious face is the picture of Japan for a lot of people. And they associate it to high suicide rate, stressful work enviroment or whatever bad image of Japan.

We don’t have much facial expression and show our emotions in general, so maybe you think we don’t laugh or enjoy and too serious people in the world.

The truth is, that’s completely opposite. We love laughing, making jokes and being funny. When we work, we’re quite serious people, but once we finish our jobs at the end of the day, we’re completely different.

Comedians are very popular in Japan. Actually, some are even more than actors or celebrities. That’s because, again, we love something to make us laugh. And we ourselves want to be funny to spread positivity to friends and family. I really feel talking with the people around me.


I’m not saying all Japanese men don’t demand you to quit your job and become a housewife. Some people are still old fashion in Japan. But I’m sure it’s getting rare and our gender role is going to change completely very soon in the future.

After all, it totally depends on the person you’d marry. You need to figure it out if the guy is right person before getting married. But at least, you definitely can't assume all Japanese men are old fashion even before dating them. Not every Japanese guy becomes dominant old fashion husband!

For more tips on dating and “finding your love in Japan”, check out my channel, Find Your Love in Japan!



Hi! My name is Nobita, a native Japanese guy.I'm a Web Designer in Japan. I have a YouTube channel, "Find Your Love in Japan" to show "real" Japanese people for you.


  • helloalissa

    on May 29

    What Nobita says is all true - I can give personal examples to show all three of these misconceptions are just old fashioned. Women are more attracted to Ikumen, so that's a win-win situation.

  • Saitama

    on May 29

    Nicely put Nobita. And I would like to add there are some men who even help SAHM with the household. My own husband for one! He does all the cooking and washes the dishes, puts out the bins and cleans the bath everyday ... and I am a SAHM !!! Most of my friends husbands are the same. The type that are self-absorbed and do nothing are in the minority now I think. Nice article