Traditional expectations still matter when dating in Japan over 40

If you're dating as an expat in Japan (especially if you're in your 40s or older), a new survey suggests traditional expectations around paying for the first date are still very much alive and kicking.

The survey of more than 500 dating app users aged 40 and over found that nearly 90% believe the man should pay for all or at least most of the bill on a first date. In practice, that's exactly what happens: 64% of respondents said the man paid the entire bill, while another 24% said he covered the larger share.

That doesn't necessarily mean your first date needs to be extravagant, though. In fact, the research found many women preferred modestly priced outings, with the most common budget falling between ¥1,000 and ¥3,000 per person. Expensive restaurants weren't seen as essential, and instead, respondents said thoughtful gestures left the strongest impression.

Some examples of that included discreetly paying the bill before the other person noticed or offering to buy a coffee or drink afterwards. On the flip side, meticulously calculating every last yen when splitting the bill was frequently mentioned as a dating turn-off.

Interestingly, attitudes also varied by generation. Men in their 60s were the most likely to pay, while respondents in their 40s and people who had never married were generally more open to splitting the bill.

Of course, every relationship is different, and dating norms are constantly evolving. But if you're navigating Japan's dating scene, especially among older singles, it's worth remembering that traditional etiquette still plays a bigger role than you might expect.