The work of running an expat household leading up to the festive season

In our society, the concept of work is often synonymous with paid employment, careers, and professional endeavors. However, I think often there's a realm of labor that goes unnoticed – the work of running a household. I've been particularly exhausted the last couple of months in the lead-up to the holiday season, trying to juggle my work from home job and all of the extra demands on my time that come with having a family and being an expat during this period.

Pic Credit: Gareth Harper/Unsplash

Away from familial support

My friends with children back home find it easy enough to call on their parents, siblings, or other long-term trusted friends to watch them when life gets hectic. That's one of the hardest parts about being an expat, in my opinion. I do have friends here, and some great neighbors that have filled the void in terms of that familial feeling, but I still don't have that same level of comfort to ask for help from them as I do from people I've known much longer. 

The work behind creating traditions and magic

Being an expat is unusual, because often it feels like you're stuck in a limbo state where you're not part of your "old" life, but you're still trying to forge out this new one – and I still feel that way after a decade abroad. Navigating the cultural nuances of this season in Japan while managing the intricate dance of holiday preparations can turn what's meant to be the most wonderful time of the year into a marathon of tasks. Organizing presents, wrapping presents, sending Christmas packages back home and basically being a by-name regular at the local post office, sourcing your favorite festive foods to give that feeling of home – it's tiring!

Part of what makes it tricky is wanting my children to have special childhood traditions, but knowing that those traditions aren't really...traditional, if that makes sense. Our Christmas tree is a mish-mash of "ornaments" comprising of random prefectural mascot keychains from different places we've visited, and we usually go out for dinner on Christmas rather than cooking a special meal at home...because you can't shove a turkey in a fish grill – and where would I even find a turkey?!

There's a beauty in our untraditional traditions, sure, but I often wonder if my kids feel like they're missing out when compared to their relatives in the US and Australia. 

The emotional toll

I touched on it slightly above, but the work behind trying to create a magical festive season takes an emotional toll. It's one of the few times of year I get homesick – not really for "home" per se, but for the festive season feeling simpler. More relaxed. For there being a solid break from work over Christmas, for easy to source festive foods, for a support network that I don't feel uncomfortable asking for help from.

And yet, despite the hardships and the work involved, I'd still rather be here. It doesn't make a lot of sense, I know, but maybe some other expats get where I'm coming from.