Old customs and new questions

Living in rural Japan has been such a rewarding experience, but obviously like life anywhere, it's not without some challenges. There's definitely a pride in tradition, but sometimes certain customs reveal a bit about how old ideas about gender still shape daily life.

When my daughter was about three or four, her kodomoen was preparing for a local festival which has a special chant that goes along with it. She started repeating it, but was told by her teacher (a woman) that the chant was "only for the boys." It was a small comment, but when she mentioned it at home, it stayed with me.

Tied into that, I came across an article on NPR recently about how rigid gender roles are prompting women to leave rural Japan. It mentioned Akita's Kanto Festival, where men balance poles decorated with lanterns while women play the flutes and drums. Apparently we women are seen as "unclean" because of things like blood from menstruation and childbirth, so getting to hold the lantern-adorned poles is a no no. Sigh.

The article mentioned that many young women from the region dream of moving to the cities, where they can live with fewer expectations about traditional roles that involve marriage or raising kids. Obviously if you've been living here a while you know all about Japan's issues with the falling birthrate, and I genuinely can't understand why anyone would want to have kids here if they're treated like a dirty, second-class citizen. 

I think as foreigners there's a lot of leeway we get with certain things. Locals don't expect us to follow every rule, and there's often an understanding that we come from different cultures. Even so, moments like the one with my daughter make me think about the messages kids absorb so early on, about who gets to do what, and why.

It's easy to romanticize life in the countryside, and in many ways it is beautiful. There's plenty of community spirit, a great overall sense of safety, and the deep connection to the seasons as just a few upsides. Underneath all of that, though, I think there's an element of tension between preserving tradition and making space for progress, and I don't know that anyone (foreigner or local) knows exactly what the right answer is moving forward.