Pros and cons of raising a family in Japan: Never fully fitting in and the "gaijin pass"

I've lived in Japan for a big chunk of time now, but I have some expat friends who have been here even longer, and some mention never truly reaching that point where they feel like they belong. Even if you can speak the language super well, follow the rules, and understand the culture, there's still the element for many of us of "looking" foreign. 

On the upside, there's a nice kind of freedom in it. You're not always expected to conform in the same way, small mistakes are forgiven, and social missteps are often brushed off. I think because of that, there's a little more room to be yourself.

I don’t love the feeling of always being on the outside, but I've learned to appreciate the flexibility it brings, both for myself, my husband, and our kids.