Real Men of Genius: Mr. Giant Fan at the Festival Guy

Do you remember those old “Real Men of Genius” Budweiser commercials they used to have on TV and the radio? They were hilarious, but just in case you don’t remember them or if you have never heard of it before, here’s what I'm talking about:

If you're not able to view the video, it’s basically an announcer with musical backup that ironically praises individuals such as the following:

Mr. Really Bad Toupee Wearer

Mr. Taco Salad Inventor

Mr. Too-much Cologne Wearer

I encountered my own "Real Man of Genius" at the festival, so I'm going to resurrect this long-forgotten ad with my own addition from the Japanese countryside.

Here goes...

[Cue Music]

Announcer: Budweiser presents Real Men of Genius ...

Vocals: *Real men of Genius *

Today we salute you, Mr. Giant Fan at the Festival Guy ...

*Mr. Giant Fan at the Festival Guy* 

It’s 100 degrees outside with a feels like temperature of 120.  Most people are carrying normal sized fans to cool themselves down, but you say, "No way."

*No, I don't want a little fan*

Your fan weighs 150 pounds and is made of the tallest tree from the forest primeval...

*How do you even pick it up?*

You selflessly haul around that hunk of wood that weighs as much as you do, all to keep everyone else cool...

*You can't even fan yourself!*

Producing as much force as a small typhoon, you swing that fan with all your might, sending small children flying in the process...

*What happened to little Kenta-kun?*

You may do more harm than good, but boy do you make people say, "At least I'm not that guy"...

*Sucks to be that guy*

So crack open a nice cold Budweiser, Mr. Beast of the Breeze...after you regain feeling in your arms.

*It might not beeeeeee for a week *

Cause if was not for you, people might make the wise choice to stay inside.

*Mr. Giant Fan at the Festival Guy*