Good Couples Day and a lack of date time for parents in Japan

Japan celebrates November 22nd as Good Couples Day, a tradition that began in 1988 as a reminder for married couples to appreciate one another. The numbers 11–22 can be read as ii fūfū, which sounds like "good husband and wife," and the day has since become a gentle nudge to make time for your partner.

However, according to a new survey from Ikoyo Family Lab, the reality for many parents looks very different. More than 60 percent of couples with children said they hadn't been on a single date in the past year, even though over 90 percent want more time together.

Pretty unsurprisingly, childcare is the biggest hurdle. Babysitting culture in Japan is still growing, many daycares require advance booking, and local families often lean on grandparents. For expat parents without relatives nearby, the gap can feel even wider.

I know that feeling well. My husband and I often laugh that our "dates" happen in the supermarket while our kids have after school activities, where we try to seize those small windows to walk, talk, and catch up. Not glamorous by any stretch of the imagination, but it's uninterrupted time + getting a chore done, and sometimes that's enough!

The survey also showed that around 70 percent of couples don't find time together at home either. Still, short moments like sharing tea or chatting before bed help keep the connection alive.

I think for expat families especially, Good Couples Day is a reminder to protect the tiny pockets of time that strengthen a partnership in the middle of a busy life. It doesn't always look like fancy dinners out or a special vacation, but I think that's one of the realities of life abroad with kids.