The art of being a good neighbor in Japan

My worst neighbor experience during my years living here probably had less to do with the neighbors themselves and more to do with what they were doing inside their apartments. When I lived in Tokyo, I somehow ended up sandwiched between two piano players, with one living above me and another below. Truly, it was the world's least relaxing constant piano recital, and it would happen from early in the morning to late at night.

That's probably why when I saw a new survey looking at the things people find troublesome about their neighbors in Japan, I immediately assumed noise would be at the top of the list. Spoiler, it wasn't.

The survey of 500 people found that more than 70% sometimes find dealing with their neighbors troublesome, but the biggest complaint was actually having them prying into private lives, cited by 33.3% of respondents. Gossip came second at 26.1%, with people saying they disliked being drawn into rumors and stories about other residents. Another 18.9% said they were simply tired of having to constantly worry about being considerate towards their neighbors.

For us as foreigners living in Japan, this can be an interesting part of adapting to life here. Neighborhood relationships can come with expectations around greetings, community events, and consideration for others, and it isn't always obvious where the line is between being friendly and getting too involved.

The survey's advice is to maintain a comfortable "adult distance": be polite, follow basic manners, and learn to let some things slide, without feeling obliged to share your personal life with the people next door.