Jul 31, 2018

Tales form study abroad : Passive-aggressive host mother

Tales form study abroad : Passive-aggressive host mother photoMy host family was strange. I was given a list of rules when I first arrived that seemed pretty normal. Standard curfew , take out my own trash, how and when eveyone bathes. There was also a rule that ost other students in my program also had to abide by except my host family was the only one that required it so early. I had to let my host mother know if I would be eating with them by one in the afternoon. This was really difficult to decide because it was always when our last class finished that any of my friends would even start the conversation about what they were doing for dinner, hanging out or going home. see everyone else just had to let their families know by five at the latest. This left me making the decision in the morning before leaving for school. If I told my host family I would be eating out, and everyone decided that night to go home, I would tend to eat something alone. It wasn't too big of a deal. Until my host mother started a silent passive-aggressive battle with me and my dinner. It was the end of my study abroad. I only had a few weeks left, but I had decided that I wanted to lose a least some of the weight I had gained in Japan. I would go on a diet. Maybe my host mother took this as a personal insult. Like I was blaming her for making me fatter or something. All I knew was that I wanted to eat less food than I was before and she silently fought me about it. The first night, she served me twice the amount my host father was given, two whole fish a mound of fish and 4 different side dishes. I ate until I was content, made sure to try all of it so she knew I wasn't just leaving the things I don't like. I was content. In the morning it was worse. She even had two bowls of miso soup out for me. "But you ate so little last night, I thought you would be hungry this morning". That night I ate out with friends like planned and came home like normal. The next morning I met a breakfast of one avocado slice on a fourth of a piece of bread and a glass of water. This pattern continued until the end of term. The worst part was when she messaged me after I forgot to tell her in the morning if I was eating with the family or not. I had had a lot of outside activities and wanted to eat dinner at home. But she insisted I eat with my friends. In the most formal Japanese I had ever had, she told me she was making my favorite meal, but my host dad would just eat it and I should eat out with my friends. Even my Japanese friends who read the email said she was being crazy passive aggressive.  



American step mom with beautiful Brazilian babies. Raising them in Japan. I'm a crafter too