Jun 2, 2016

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Couch.

I originally started out to write about Japanese TV and movies I’ve been watching, but this tirade about the couch just… grew. I’m having one of those “missing home/ grumbly with Japan” weeks, so you’ll have to excuse the non-Japanesey topic. 

Our Tiny Japanese Couch. [TJC™] I. Am. Over. It. It is a useless space hog in our home. UGHHHH.

As Americans, The Mister and I, we have American sized booties. (To be very, very clear, I greatly enjoy The Mister’s booty. It is a quality booty. I am pleased with the size of said booty.)  These booties of ours *technically* fit on the TJC™, though not in a way which people would call “comfortable.”

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Couch. photo

Unfortunately, this TJC™ is part of the relocation package provided to us by The Mister’s company. It is considered a "leased piece," and as such, we do not own it, and thus even though we greatly dislike it now*, and they will throw it out when we leave, we are sort of committed to just sucking it up until the end of our time here in Japan.   

If we went out and bought a new couch, it would be a cost out of our own pockets, and we’d have to figure out where to put the TJC™, and we’d have to get one which can physically fit into the elevator of our apartment/ through our apartment door (so it could not as big as we’d like), and then we’d have to deal with either getting rid of it when we go back to the states, OR we’ll have to ship it home and figure out where it’s going to fit in our house where a wonderful couch already exists. Far, far too much hassle.

Even when The Mister isn’t home to share a couch with me, however, I there is one other sizable tookus in the McD household and it gets real exhausting playing the “steal each other’s couch spot game” with a mutt.

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Couch. photo

Get up to pee, lose your seat IMMEDIATELY.

In fact, I got so sick of my dog’s inability to share the couch** a few weeks ago that I bought nice, cushy, yellow pillow for the floor so I can just sit in front of the couch. Approximately 3 hours after I got it home, this happened for the first time:

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Couch. photo

He picked it up off the floor and put it down for his head.

He is a smart dog, and sometimes I hate that.

*we actually picked it out thinking it would be good. And it seemed nice for the first few months, and then we realized it’s basically the furniture equivalent quality of a McDonald’s happy meal when you were really expecting at least like a Texas Roadhouse steak.

**Yes, I 100% understand that I am the alpha and he is a DOG and I should just ban him from the couch. Judge me how you want, he’s a good dog 95% of the time*** and I suck at telling this face no.

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Couch. photo

So here is the visual pouting when he's not allowed on the couch. 

You're missing out on the audio portion of exasperated dog sigh every 30 seconds.

***95% Good dog. That 5%? Mac’s most recent entry to Dog Shaming:

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Couch. photo

TLDR summary of the TJC™: UGHHH.

I miss our giant sectional at our home in the states - big enough that The Mister, Mac AND I (plus Bubba on one of our laps) can all fit on it 100% stretched out without having anyone feel squished or contorted. I have decided it is the one thing I miss most about the US. Sorry friends and loved ones, I just want my Art Van brand "Dillon" 3 piece microsuede sectional couch in Chocolate.  (this website is like my own personal porn right now.)

 Do you have those “I’m cranky with not being home” times?
What do you miss that some might think strange?
Tell me in the comments!

today’s little language lesson

マークちゃんが、ソファを おりなさい。

Ma-Ku chan ga, so-fa o ori-nasai.

Mac, get off the couch.



The name is Kp or KpMcD (Kristin, actually, but for the sake of continuity let's stick with the nickname, shall we?) Hailing from the Midwest US and living in Nagoya with my husband (The Mister), my dobermutt (Mac) and an elitist marmalade tabby who answers to no one (Bubba).

1 Comment

  • Tomuu

    on Jun 8

    Enjoyed this. Me and the partner went 6 months without a couch at our old place. We then went second-hand and got something for about 4000 yen. It lasted a few years but eventually made sitting back on the floor seem like a better option. The new one from Ikea I think qualifies as about the best thing I've ever bought!