Size matters! Lengthy foreign names still causing confusion in Japan

It might come as some alarm to those readying themselves for a move to Japan that even something so fundamental as one’s name can be the source of daily-life problems in this country (often for said name being too long). If the challenges start here, how far can they go?

Let’s face it though, Japan just doesn’t have the pronunciation skills or, indeed, an alphabet suited to handling some of, if not all of, the names that us expats are bringing over to this country. 

Still, in the 21st century in which so many transactions are available online, and in a Japan racing towards ever greater internationalization in preparation for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics and Paralympics, it seems somewhat inconceivable that one’s name (usually family name) can still be a source of problems in the expat’s quest to get things done in this country. And yet, it still is.

The ways in which this stumbling block presents itself are numerous but what it often boils down to is an issue surrounding length. In the case of names, size matters in Japan, but going against the grain, shorter is better. Without wanting to be too crude, shorter fits … on credit cards, online forms, tickets … 

While this expat’s family name isn’t a strange one back home, it is rather long, and seen from the perspective of other nationalities it probably appears as a mad collection of vowels and consonants that presents a serious challenge to even the most dedicated proponents of getting pronunciation right (something which some Japanese English-language learners can take to with almost obsessive zeal, with their diagrams and jaw stretches).  

This pronunciation challenge highlights another issue when it comes to the handling of foreign names in Japan, and one that is potentially mind bending.

“Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.”, reads the translation of one of the basic propositions in philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein’s 1921 classic “Tractatus.”  

Well, this presents a huge problem when it comes to foreign names in Japan -- more often than not they can’t be pronounced correctly by our hosts, but neither are they something that one can remain silent about. The solution then, ostensibly, is to come up with a new name. 

“Japanese is the language of the vowel.” is the first thing that was said to me when I started learning the language. So it is then that many a foreigner’s name here in Japan is subject to a kind of rebranding littered with extra vowels to turn it into something that could just about pass for our names. A best guess, if you will. But in the strictest sense, it isn’t actually our name. 

Of course, pronunciation is always going to have a subjective element to it, determined by our physical make up. But, there are many occasions in Japan when only a standardized, katakana-written name, and the consequent pronunciation, will be accepted. 

In fact, sometimes the expat in Japan will find themselves on the other end of that strange question from a Japanese friend or colleague, “How do I write this name in katakana?”, to which surely the only legitimate response can be, “How should I know. It doesn’t fit into katakana!”

But one doesn’t have to have been in Japan long to realize that this is a country with little care for the rules when it comes to the presentation of foreign languages and catch phrases, which are often subject to a kind of mad rendering in order to suit a very Japanese, and typically commercial, end. So, it should perhaps come as no surprise when our names get similar treatment, only this time the end is more to do with brute practicality. Which oddly serves to make things highly impractical for the foreigner having to figure it all out.

(It should also be noted though, how other nationalities, particularly in the west, have a history of absurd kanji / hiragana / katakana use -- think tattoos on bored athletes with more money than sense, in particular.) 

As with so many problems facing the foreigner living in Japan, it’s quite often the Japanese partner sorting it out. In this case the years of foreigner-related problem solving may have come as good practice for this expat’s partner who is now this expat’s wife and as such has been saddled with this expat’s family name, and the problems of which it is the cause. And here are just some of the most recent (for which I remain eternally sorry) … 

Name on domestic air tickets … 

In this instance at least, it turns out that domestic airline tickets in Japan are issued with names written in Japanese (as opposed to tickets for international flights which use romaji for names). More specifically for this foreigner, in katakana.

The airline couldn’t fit my name, all first and last of it, on the ticket. I know, “Just how long is this name?”, is probably what you are thinking. I can assure you though, it’s not that long.  

The result of this was that we (the partner and I) had to rock up to the airline’s special counter for awkward people, rather than doing any automatic checking-in, in order to be issued with a boarding pass.  

None of this came as a rude surprise at the airport though. We were told of this at the time of booking the flight online (which we were able to do with few problems).

Name doesn’t fit on credit cards ...

As far as I’m aware, credit cards are the same size in any country of the world. My name (title, first, and last) fits on that which I have issued from back home.

Now, before you can ask, "How did you get a credit card in Japan in the first place?"  Well, I didn’t. A certain large bank turned me down in favor of lending money to the yakuza (who probably have a lot more of the stuff, to be fair). They did furnish the partner and I with debit cards though. They just can’t fit our name on them.  

Hilariously, they haven’t applied any sense or formality to an abbreviated / truncated form. They simply just stopped printing it as soon as there was no more space. So now, not only do I have a card with a name on it that isn’t mine. It doesn’t even look like a name. Even more hilariously, nobody seems to care. (Japan loves to truncate names so much, you can even pass them off as official, it seems!)

Anyway, I stick my card in a machine and money comes out, so as long as that keeps happening … 

Back to the credit cards -- you may hear of cases where foreigners in Japan have been turned down credits cards due to their name being too long. Without knowing, this smacks of Japan’s financial institutions taking refuge in an excuse rather than them having to endure the awkwardness of owning the fact that they simply don’t trust foreigners enough to be lending them money. This is not all of Japan’s financial institutions, mind.

Psychotic frustrations filling in online forms … 

The partner, bless em, probably had a new surname as the least of their concerns upon agreeing to tie the knot with this expat. Now that they’ve been furnished with it though, it crops up to haunt from time to time.

The last incident that I can recall was very recently, booking some sort of Shinkansen / hotel package online with JR. Yes, JR. Not some tin pot budget operation, but the people that can make a vast network of trains run with the kind of regularity that would reduce a Swiss watchmaker to tears of envy.  

They’ve perhaps neglected their online booking platform though, because it couldn’t handle my surname … in any alphabet. Instead of being able to get things done online, it had to be done over the phone with a perplexed operator who was just about to have their day get a whole lot worse.

I offered the partner a divorce, but to their credit, they’re still with me … and my surname.

A note on filling in forms online (in Japanese). Not only does the Japanese language employ the use of four alphabets (hiragana, kanji, katakana, romaji) but standard operating systems will give typers the choice between full-width and half-width modes of character input. It’s all as cumbersome as it sounds but it could be the reason behind the rejection of your seemingly filled-in form.

Spelling the name over the phone … 

I wince every time the partner uses their surname (as in, my surname) over the phone when, say, ordering a pizza. As far as I can tell the Japanese have no convenient way of asking, “How do you spell that?,” as we would back home at the first sign of trouble.  

Of course, whoever is on the other end of the line never gets it first time. (Understandable.) Instead they ask for it again. And again. And again. And then maybe a fourth go, by which time the partner is still making no allowance to pronounce it any more slowly or clearly other than to be on the verge of shouting it. Eventually, unnamed pizza place just gives up and goes with their best guess, I guess. 

When I’m ordering over the phone (or lending my name to almost any casual reservation) I stick to my first name. It’s only one syllable. Well, two in Japanese I suppose, and is as common as muck, even to Japanese people.

Trouble with foreign names continues to be a recurring theme about expat life in Japan. And it’s understandable to a certain extent. So, perhaps the best thing to say about it, is to stay relaxed. As in the case of the debit cards mentioned above, Japan doesn’t seem to be too concerned about getting our names right, and as long as what it is we are trying to do actually gets done, well, maybe that just has to be enough, for now. 

Ever had any problems with your name when it comes to filling in forms / ticketing / making applications e.t.c here in Japan?  What was the outcome?  Let us know in the comments.

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