Jan 14, 2016

Do you have experience dating Japanese women?

A freind my mine (a Japanese girl) has been dating a guy from abroad for a little while now, dinners, bars, movies etc. I think she want to move the relationship forward but doesn't seem to be getting any signals from this guy that what he want to do. She probably be angry for asking but I was wondering what this guy might thinking, or how fast these things happen in other countries? I'd be really interested to know.



English learner, wants to communicate with people from around the world!! ;)

6 Answers

6 Answers

Best Answer

  • Kasajizo

    on Jan 16

    I was pretty clueless when I was dating in Japan. (still am clueless) We did all these things you mentioned. She ended up asking straightforward "Are we dating?" Haha So, I guess... maybe she should just ask?

  • junko

    on Jan 17

    thanks for answering! "Are we dating?" that what she wanted to know. Japanese people are start saying "tsukiatte kudasai" or somethink like that when they wanna forward their relationship. I mean has signal for it. But her friend didn't say anything to her yet, so she just wondering, anyway i'll tell her.

  • Tomuu

    on Jan 18

    I'm kind of the same a Kasajizo; I think at this stage, she should just go ahead and ask (if that's what she wants to do). Back home it's perhaps OK to be a little more direct about these things. I don't know where this guy is from, but maybe he's 'delaying' because he's not sure what the appropriate thing is to do, given any potential cultural differences. As your friend is on 'home ground' so to speak, maybe might need to take the lead in this situation. Take my suggestions with a pinch of salt though. I'm the complete opposite of an expert on relationships!

  • alphy

    on Jan 18

    Many people where I'm from have a gray-zone between "dating" and "hanging out". Many foreign guys in Japan probably don't want to get too serious while in this country, so they might try and stay in the gray-zone for as long as possible. I think your friend should just ask!

  • kcsantosh

    on Mar 15

    No, not any :(

  • Genryuu111

    on Mar 30

    One advice I want to give to guys who want to date Japanese women, is that they should be really careful with girls who are over 25ish. That's when they start feeling bad about not being married, and that's the line between "I date a gaijin because it's cool/exciting/interesting/etc" and "I need to get married so any guy at this point would be OK, even a gaijin". Of course, it's a case by case thing, but sooo many times I've heard (and had a couple of direct experiences) of girls over 25 who would start talking about meeting parents and marriage after one date. On the other side, you may want to date Japanese girls who lived/studied abroad for a reasonable amount of time. They usually don't like Japanese culture so much, and they think more like a foreginer. In some aspects, that may be seen as not good, but I think that for most gaijins, that would be a life saver. One last point of advice, if you don't go for the "not very Japanese girl" way, find a girl who doesn't speak a word of English. That's the biggest resource of language learning you'll ever have, there's no better teacher than a partner (even if they suck at explaining stuff or whatever).


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