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Apr 9, 2018

Japanese Men psychology for dummies

So, I have a question to ask. Maybe a guy can answer better... Anyway, all help is very much welcome. Do Japanese men answer to texting when we (women) write melo./ cheesy texts? I'm kind of straight forward and I say things as I feel them but, my boyfriend, he doesn't answer it, he puts very pragmatic answers and it's kind of like he's avoiding them, like making a detour around it. He used to reply at first, he was never cheesy, just sweet. Then... no more!!! I wonder if I said or did something wrong. He says no. But I'm starting to doubt it! Like a 6th sense! What do you think?

MGM01

MGM01

Just beginning to prepare for the rest of my life in the land of the rising Sun and have a lot of questions to make at all levels.

10 Answers



  • Eli

    on Apr 10

    In general, the male brain is more oriented on solving problems, so if you present them with a problem of yours he will probably provide a suggestion how to solve it. I assume that is why his answers are pragmatic. However, if women talk about problems, most of the time they just want to talk in order to relieve stress, get the topic out of their mind, etc. I don't think you did something wrong, this is just a matter of different brain chemistry. You can try to talk to him about how you would like him to react when you send such texts and explain how such a reaction would be helpful for you.

    1
  • MGM01

    on Apr 11

    I loved you answer Eli thank you. Yes, you're right. I have heard that explanation once ... you're right ... it's nothing and I'm just doing drama over nothing. Thank you Eli

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  • genkidesu

    on Apr 11

    I totally agree with what Eli said - my husband is like that, too. He is solely focused on "fixing" things when sometimes I just want to vent. I think it really does just come down to communication differences between males and females!

    1
  • KevinC

    on Apr 11

    As a guy, I don't think there is anything wrong. Guys just not really good at reading between the lines. Imagine you have a dog, you usually throw a ball and the dog will bring it back. If you suddenly throw a stuffed animal, your dog may just stare at you and wait for you to throw the ball again. Agree with Eli, you need to give him some hits. Show the dog the stuffed animal first before you throw it. ;)

    1
  • Tomuu

    on Apr 12

    While I agree with all of the responses so far, perhaps there's a chance that it could be down to the medium of communication here, i.e. texting. In general, I'm pretty crap at sending / responding to texts that don't have a specific purpose -- like fixing a time for something or asking a direct question. If the text is just something fun, cute, irreverent e.t.c, I have trouble responding if I can't think of something equally fun or cute etc to write. I don't want to write something that doesn't add any value to the exchange, so often I just don't respond. I suppose this mostly applies to exchanges with friends and colleagues, but maybe it could apply in the case of relationships.

    1
  • studentlife

    on Apr 20

    I am also in the phase of getting to know the personality of Japanese men. And so far, reading your answers, they are all true. some men doesn't prefer messages (so as other girls - like me). try to really communicate with him by talking. Messages can be misunderstood.

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  • MGM01

    on Apr 20

    Thank you to all. You were amazing. Thank you. Deeply appreciated it.

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  • edthethe

    on Apr 22

    Messaging and in person are very different things. If I am stressed, no matter how busy or not, my phone becomes a distraction so I automatically stop responding to it until my mind is mentally less busy. I just barely respond to important things but only because I can type the essentials and then I'm done. Perhaps he is stressed about some thing, work family etc

    1
  • Jackson

    on Apr 27

    On top of what others have said, he and I might be the same where when we are faced with a situation that we don't necessarily know how to reply, or how we 'should' reply, we secretly hope that we have the option of not replying lol. If you haven't brought it up to him, he may have taken it as that it is okay for him not to reply. Communication will be key, so talk to him about it and ask whether he doesn't want to reply or that he doesn't know how to. ;)

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  • MGM01

    on Apr 27

    I have talked to him about it some days ago. It checks and all that you guys said, all of you, is true. The thing is that Japanese guys are shy and don't get direct compliments just like that, they don't say "I love you!" and they are not very good at communication. Although he really tries hard to communicate better and because very honest and straight forward, somethings can't be changed. I don't want him to change anything about himself either. Now that things have gotten better and he's more straight forward than before, it's gonna be alright. Just for the fact that he says what he feels when things are not ok or there is something bothering. I've gotten pretty used to it too His actions actually speak louder than words. He cares about me and I know it and he takes care of me which is incredible and super adorable. Thank you do so much to all for your replies, I am very Thankful to all of you.

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